alright, i figured it out after wasting a bunch of paper.
found this ancient stack exchange
which led me to settings > configure kate > open/save > modes&filetypes
where if you edit the Variables: field to read
kate: font hack; font-size 10
and hit apply then, at least the editor knows what you want.
THEN
you also have to go to File > print/export > print preview
and all the way to the right is a printer icon, click on that
go to Properties > Advanced
and down at the bottom of the page under Output control common
find the Image type: and change it to text
ffs, could this be any less intuitive?
what’s worse it it seems to revert back to the default of mixed text and graphics next time you go in but still prints monospace unless you touch something else, then you need to set it back to text again.